This was easy.
I opened a can of peas*.
I opened a can of corn.
I drained them and dumped them in bowls and nuked them.
The end.
P.S. I also put fancy spoons in the bowls to jazz them up a little.
*I would have preferred frozen peas because their texture is so much better, but because it was such a busy stressful day, the can was the easy route.