Thoughts in the Aftermath

I didn’t know that America’s core was this ignorant, this racist, this misogynist. We outsiders always joke about it, all the rednecks and gun-totin’ Yosemite Sams leaning out of big pickup trucks and hollering about freedom and Jesus.

I hesitated about moving here. To this country where so many still think humans walked with dinosaurs. Where guns are easier to get than mental health appointments. Where we don’t want tax money paying for abortion but we pretend teen sex doesn’t happen and refuse to give them information they need. Where police can pull a man over for a broken tail light and murder him in “self-defense.” Weekly.

Living here for almost a decade, I found that this country does contain good people. So many of them. Working for change and for understanding, working for others, defending their rights. I’ve grown so much thanks to their patience and their guidance. So much can be achieved through kindness and compassion and open minds. I began to think that with enough effort, we could make a difference.

I’m not sure I believe that anymore. The numbers don’t lie: at its core, America truly is a hateful and selfish country. I am so very nervous for my friends who don’t have the privilege of whiteness, cis-het-ness, health, affluence, and geography. I’m nervous for everyone.

 And I’m so mad that hate wins.




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