5:15 – Wake from a nightmare about flipping my car off the highway in the rain. Take a second to make sure I’m in bed and not dead. Roll over, try to doze back off for 15 min until my alarm buzzes.

5:28 – Liam beats the alarm and starts fussing. Dave is already zombie-shuffling to the bedroom door because it was his duty night, so I tell him to just entertain the kid for a second while I pee and brush my teeth.

5:30 – Pee, brush my teeth.

5:33 – Take over so Dave can shower.

5:34 – Nurse hungry baby. Sing him his little morning song. Get him changed, dressed, and bibbed.

5:45 – Carry him downstairs, load a K-cup into my Keurig with the hand that’s not holding a baby.

5:46 – Sit him on the floor in the family room where I can see him from the kitchen, and give him his train to play with. Empty the dishwasher while playing peekaboo with him over the counter to keep him from crying.

5:51 – Feed Mojo, who is howling in the mudroom. Narrate this process VERY LOUDLY AND CHEERFULLY so Liam can hear me in the family room and not freak out because I’ve disappeared.

5:52 – Retrieve freaked-out-and-crying Liam from floor. Bring him upstairs. Carry him into my bedroom and plunk him in the middle of the bed (so grateful he’s not crawling yet) and hand him a bright striped sock to distract him while I retrieve my clothes and get dressed.

6:00 – Remember there’s a coffee waiting for me in the kitchen. Carry Liam back down. Add cream and sugar to the coffee cup, using one hand. Stir. Turn face and coffee cup as far away from little flapping hands as possible. Sip.

6:01 – Give up, give him the spoon.

6:02 – Back upstairs to play.

6:05 – Dave takes over on the floor.

6:06 – Dig through the dryer and find extra bibs for today. He’s drooly.

6:08 – Feed the other two cats since I just let them out of the laundry room anyway.

6:15 – Check that my pump parts and bottles are in my bag by the door. Throw food into my lunch bag for work.

6:18 – Put bottles and meals into his lunch bag for daycare. Put it in his backpack with two of the bibs, leave it with my pump bag by the door.

6:20 – Kiss Dave goodbye; he’s leaving for work. He hands over the baby and then brings all the extra bags to the car for me on his way out.

6:22 – Sit at my computer and have a sip of coffee. Push the button on his Baby Einstein Take-along-Tunes to hear a song. Turn around while kiddo’s distracted, and reply to an email from the pediatrician.

6:25 – Read stories, push the button again for more songs, and submit to being beaten cheerfully with a spoon.

6:40 – Remember that I haven’t brushed my hair since getting up. Leave kiddo on the floor (thank goodness he can’t crawl yet) and head to the bathroom to find a brush.

6:41 – Nope, he’s screaming at being left alone. Go back, pick him up, put him on the bathroom floor with an empty toilet paper tube. He eats it while I get my hair into a ponytail and hum one of the classical Einstein tunes.

6:55 – Put him in the carseat, strap him in, and position the musical elephant and twinkly bird toys where they can be easily thwacked. Tuck a blanket around him and leave his arms out, for thwacking.

7:00 – Drive him to daycare. Play Doubleclicks songs and sing along badly while he practices his da-da-da, ba-ba-ba and bfpfmmmpfpppb in the backseat.

7:15 – Drop him off at daycare, giving a sleep and feeding report.

7:20 – Drive to work. Listen to news radio so I’ll have something to talk about with other adults later.

8:30 – Arrive at work.

8:40 – Realize I forgot deodorant this morning. But it’s ok; I have a spare stick in my purse. Beside a ziplock bag full of Gerber Puffs and a tiny pair of socks.

10:00 – Pump break.

10:30 – Back to work.

1:30 – Lunch; check FB, check Twitter, click “like” a lot.

2:00 – Pump break.

2:30 – Back to work.

4:30 – Leave work. Listen to science podcast to keep my brain from melting from disuse.

5:35 – Arrive home. Dave’s not back with baby yet. Traffic must have been bad.

5:36 – Drag recycling bins back to the garage, because the truck guys left them blocking half the entrance to our driveway.

5:38 – Pick up cat barf in the kitchen, wash that part of the floor. Feed howling kitties. Consider that if they’d stop barfing the food up they wouldn’t be so goddamned hungry all the time.

5:40 – Wash bottles and pump parts. So. Many. Parts.

5:55 – Prepare Liam’s dinner for tonight (chopped-up meatball, zucchini bits, and a Gerber chicken-and-apples dinner thickened with oatmeal) and breakfast for tomorrow (oatmeal with banana and plum purees from the freezer).

6:05 – Put on comfy pants and take a few minutes at the computer to work on a blog post.

6:10 – Dave arrives with Liam. I play with him on the floor while Dave puts on his comfy pants and comes back to join us.

6:30 – Get Liam set up in his high chair while Dave gives me the daycare report: timing and quality/quantity of naps, bottles, and poops.

6:35 – Feed Liam dinner. Meatballs are a big hit – none make it to the floor. When he’s done eating, we wipe him and the highchair down.

6:50 – Take Liam upstairs to play for a while. He’s really into his “My Pal Scout” puppy, and is fixated on poking him between the eyes again and again. I read him a couple of 6-page board “books” and Dave tries to coax him to crawl by placing toys out of reach. It just pisses him off.

7:20 – Put him in an overnight diaper, PJ’s and sleep sack. He does not like the sleep sack. There is a whiny protest.

7:25 – Try to nurse. He fights it, not really interested.

7:35 – Dave reads stories and rocks Liam to sleep. I bring a bunch of stray coffee cups downstairs for the dishwasher.

7:40 – Start peeling potatoes for dinner.

7:45 – Dave comes downstairs and we decide we’d prefer fast food tonight, so he heads off to pick something up while I cook the potatoes anyway (they’re peeled, may as well) and put them in the fridge.

8:10 – Eat dinner in front of the TV. Make fun of almost everything Christina Aguilera says on The Voice.

9:45 – Prepare bottles for tomorrow’s daycare.

9:48 – Feed howling kitties.

9:50 – Wipe counters and wash the dishes I dirtied while making the potatoes.

10:00 – Decide we want dessert, search the freezer for ice cream. Eat ice cream.

10:35 – Collect cats and put them in their rooms for the night.

10:40 – Bed.

11:55 – Liam’s awake. I go in and plug his pacifier back in. He’s quiet for 2 minutes and starts up again. Hungry? I make him a bottle, he drinks half an ounce and passes out again. I rock him for a while to be sure he’s out cold.

12:40 – Back to bed.

5:00 – Liam’s hungry. My alarm is set for 5:30 so I just turn it off and decide I’m up for the day.